lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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