I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
