there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
