just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I wish there were birth control emojis
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
