Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
