She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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