You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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