Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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