do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's never too late to be topless.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
