Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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