The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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