If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
it's like iHOP with fire
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
