oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Two words: blizzard sex
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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