Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize