I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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