I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
