I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
