I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
