I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
