4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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