to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
