why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
