if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
