We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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