Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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