He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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