Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
