Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
