So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
