I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
