i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
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Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
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You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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