First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
