We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
