Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
