Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
