I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
