the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
