Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
They took my balls.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You ruined the universe
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
