my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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