white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
