I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Come see our sink grown plant.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
