Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
