guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
