I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
How's work?
Spinning.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
