Someone shit on the floor
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
