Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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