if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize