i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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