i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
