when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
