i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
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He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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