Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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