i think my tv is drunk
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
