So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
