Everything about him screamed your future.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
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all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
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I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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