My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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