Nicole vs. Life
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
