Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My dick has a subreddit
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
