woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
