If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
