I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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