I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
